When relationships first begin, it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement and passion of new love. Dates are frequent and spontaneous. You both can’t seem to get enough of each other. But as the relationship progresses and life gets busier, some couples may find themselves wondering if they are going on dates often enough. Once marriage and having children happens, priorities may shift and quality time as a couple can become scarce.
This doesn’t just pertain to married couples, but also those in long-term committed relationships. Maybe you both dated throughout college. Having dates was a natural and regular part of your routine. But now that you’ve graduated, started careers, and have more responsibilities, finding time for dates might not be as easy. So how often should couples go on dates in a relationship?
What is Considered a Date? 
Throughout life and life stages, dates and even dating can look different. A date really can be a range of things. If you are married with kids, a date can be falling asleep on the couch together watching Netflix. Or, you can take a walk with your partner while your kid is at football practice. Whereas if you are in the premarital stage of your relationship, follow Gottman’s suggestion on dates. You’re still getting to know one another as a couple, so dates should provide an opportunity to ask open-ended questions and truly listen to your partner’s responses.
Dates really can be any chunk of time that you and your partner are spending time connecting. It may be the traditional dinner and a movie. But it could also be cooking together at home, trying a new activity or hobby, or simply having a deep conversation while enjoying each other’s company. The key is to prioritize quality time together and make an effort to keep the romance alive.
How Often Should You Go on Dates?
There isn’t a one-size-fits answer, but Gottman suggests once a week. However, for some couples, that may not be realistic or achievable. For couples who are married with kids, it may be more manageable to aim for a date night once a month, but find other ways to connect and have quality time together throughout the week.
For couples who are in long-distance relationships or have demanding work schedules, virtual dates or taking turns planning surprise dates can help keep the relationship fun and exciting. Or, for premarital couples, trying to follow Gottman’s suggestion of going on a date every week can be beneficial in building a strong foundation for the relationship. The ultimate answer is to find a balance that works for both partners and prioritize making time for each other.
The Marriage Stages of Dating 
As mentioned above, dating when you’re married looks a little different than when you’re in the premarital stage. But even within marriage, there are different stages of dating that may affect how often couples go on dates. For instance, during the honeymoon phase, couples may naturally want to spend every waking moment together and go on frequent dates. However, as the relationship progresses into the nesting phase (when children are added to the mix), date nights may become less frequent.
When this happens, you have to almost start at the beginning. You have to reintroduce yourselves to each other. Because as life as changed, so have you. And that’s okay. It’s important to continue making an effort to go on dates and connect with your partner, even if it looks different than it did in the beginning of the relationship. But, not only do you have to reintroduce yourself to your partner, you have to reintroduce yourself to you. You’ve changed and it can be hard to navigate who you are in the relationship.
Who Are You?
Taking the time to get to know the current you is not only important to your relationship, but also to your personal growth and happiness. Self-discovery can be a powerful tool in understanding how you fit into the relationship and what your needs are. As life stages change, so will you. Relearning what you like by asking yourself questions like “What do I like now?”, “What is it that I wasn’t able to do all this time that I can do now?”, or even “Who am I?” will help you connect with yourself and your partner on a deeper level.
For instance, people in their 50s are trying to figure out who they are after all this time. Their kids have left the nest, they may be retired or nearing retirement, and the relationship with their partner may look different. Going on dates in this stage is not only a way to reconnect with your partner, but also a chance for self-discovery and redefining your identity. This time in their life is less busy but still the perfect time to focus on themselves and their relationship.
Seeking Support When Struggling with Dates 
If you and your partner are struggling to find time for dates or reconnecting, that’s okay. When we are bombarded by romcoms, social media, and even our own expectations, dates can be a source of anxiety and pressure. But remember, dates can be as simple or elaborate as you both want and make time for. Seeking a marriage counselor in Atlanta, GA or a therapist in Decatur, GA can also help you navigate the changes and challenges in your relationship.
For instance, in couples therapy in Norcross, GA, your therapist may introduce you to the concepts of Gottman. They can help you learn how to better communicate and connect with your partner. Which in turn can make planning dates more enjoyable and less stressful. Additionally, a therapist can provide guidance on how often to go on dates based on your specific relationship needs and goals. Or, even if you date ideas for long-distance couples or for any stage of marriage.
Dating is an important aspect in any relationship. It allows couples to connect, communicate, and continue learning about one another. Dates can look different in each stage of the relationship, but it’s important to prioritize quality time together and make an effort to keep the romance alive. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial in navigating challenges and strengthening the relationship. Remember, it’s never too late to go on a date with your partner and rediscover who you are as individuals and as a couple.
Learn More About Dating with a Therapist in Decatur, GA
Dating is an important part of any relationship, but it can also be a source of stress and anxiety. If you and your partner are struggling to connect or make time for dates, seeking support from a therapist in Decatur, GA can help. At Faith and Family Empowerment, our founder is a marriage counselor in Altanta, GA and offers marriage counseling to anyone in the state of Georgia. We also offer online therapy in Georgia for those who are unable to come into our office. Our Decatur, GA-based practice offers a safe and non-judgmental space for couples to work through their relationship challenges and grow closer together. Keep planning your dates or seek support to rediscover each other on a deeper level. When you’re ready to begin counseling these steps:
- Contact me to schedule an initial appointment
- Learn more about me and my services
- Reconnect with your partner and rediscover who you are as individuals and as a couple!
Other Therapy Services Offered at Faith and Family Empowerment
Couples Therapy in Norcross, GA is just one of the many therapy services offered at Faith and Family Empowerment in Decatur, GA. I’m happy to offer a variety of in-person and online mental health services. These include Christian counseling, and depression support groups. Other mental health services include online therapy, premarital counseling, discernment counseling, and counseling for affair recovery.Learn more by visiting my about, blog, or FAQ pages today!
About the Author 
Discover William Hemphill, an expert therapist who can guide you on how often to go on dates to deepen your connection and spend quality time together. With over twenty years of experience, William offers tailored advice and empowering strategies for couples eager to foster joy, embed deep values, and strengthen their bonds. As the visionary behind Faith and Family Empowerment, he focuses on enhancing the unique dynamics of each relationship. Whether it’s about deepening trust, boosting self-esteem, or nurturing a closer bond, William’s empathetic approach and seasoned insight will help you find the perfect balance in your dating routine. Looking for advice on how often to plan your dates in Atlanta, GA? You found the expert. Schedule your appointment today!