Marriage is a sacred union, one that requires trust and commitment from both partners. Unfortunately, sometimes trust can be broken due to infidelity or other forms of betrayal. This can be due to a disconnect in the relationship and couples, external factors, or personal struggles. Whatever the reason may be, rebuilding trust after an affair can be a difficult and emotional journey.
After an affair, trust is shattered and can be difficult to regain. This is where couples therapy in Atlanta, GA comes in. Couples therapy can give you and your partner a safe and supportive space to work through the difficult emotions and challenges that come with rebuilding trust. But the journey to rebuilding trust takes commitment, patience, and a willingness to be vulnerable.
The Affair Has to End
The first step in rebuilding trust after an affair is for the affair to end. The partner who had the affair must commit to ending it completely and cutting off all communication with the third party. This allows for a clean slate and shows a genuine effort to regain trust. If the affair doesn’t end, there is a 3rd person in the relationship and rebuilding trust will be nearly impossible.
The importance of the affair ending cannot be stressed enough. It’s not just about ending the physical aspect of the affair, but also any emotional connections that may have formed. Trust can only begin to be rebuilt once both partners are fully committed to each other and their marriage. You can’t tell your partner to trust you while still engaging in an affair.
You’re Going to Have to Tell Your Affair Story
Another crucial step in rebuilding trust is for you, the partner who had the affair, to tell your story. This is not an easy task and can be incredibly uncomfortable, but it’s necessary for healing and moving forward. Your partner needs to hear from you about how the affair happened, why it happened, and what you’re doing to make sure it never happens again.
The offended partner may have many questions and it’s important to be open and honest in your responses. This is not the time to hide information or sugarcoat the truth. They may have many questions, and it’s important to answer them all as best you can. This helps your partner understand the situation and begin to heal from the betrayal. Remember, they are asking the questions for clarity, not to hurt you, add additional pain, or cause trauma to themselves.
Don’t Answer Questions You Don’t Want to Hear 
As the offended partner, it’s important to ask questions, but also know when to stop. There may be things you don’t want to hear or details that will only cause more pain. It’s okay to not want all the gory details and it’s important for the partner who had the affair to respect this boundary and not push for answers that will only cause harm. For example, if the affair happened in your own home, you may not want to know which rooms were involved. This will only cause you to relive the painful memory over and over again.
Remember, don’t ask questions that you don’t want the answers to. Questions that can help clarify the situation and bring understanding are helpful. These can be questions about the timeline of the affair, how long it lasted, how you met, and how many times it happened. Once you have clarity, it’s important to focus on rebuilding trust and moving forward, if that’s what you both decide to do.
You and Your Partner are in Different Spaces
It’s important to recognize that both you and your partner are in different spaces after an affair. The partner who had the affair may feel guilty, ashamed, and remorseful while the offended partner may feel angry, hurt, and betrayed. Or the partner who has the affair may feel relieved and free while the offended partner is left feeling stuck and unsure. Understanding that you both are not on the same page and have different feelings is important in rebuilding trust. It also means that you may need to seek help from a couples therapist in Atlanta, GA who can guide you through the healing process.
The beginning of being on the same page starts with the partner who had the affair to understand why they had the affair. This could be due to personal struggles, unhappiness in the relationship, or other external factors. Understanding what drew you to the affair and learning how to create emotional boundaries and emotional self-care so that you don’t seek out external validation. Whereas the offended partner, they needs to learn how to take care of themselves emotionally, spiritually, or just overall. This way, they can begin to heal and forgive.
Rebuilding Trust Takes Time
You both have to go into this process knowing that rebuilding trust takes time. It’s not something that can happen overnight or even over a few weeks. It may take months or years for the hurt partner to fully trust again, and it’s important for the partner who had the affair to be patient and understanding during this time. Typically, affair recovery is a 2-year process. During this time, both partners need to continue working on their emotional health and the health of their relationship through couples therapy. What your therapist will have you do is measure if you both are more or less triggered/more trusting after serval months. Reflect on this question: What is your trust level with your partner today? Reflect on this question: What is your hope for a trust level with your partner in six months?
If the trust level is still low, don’t get discouraged. It’s a process and it takes time to fully heal from betrayal. An affair is often a gunshot wound to cancer in the marriage. It hurts and takes time to heal, but with commitment and hard work, it is possible to regain trust and rebuild a stronger relationship. This just means you both will need to do the marital work to understand why the cancer was there and what you both can do to prevent it from growing back.
Acknowledge, Apologize, Affirm
As the partner who had the affair, it’s important to acknowledge and take responsibility for your actions. This means not making excuses or blaming others, but fully owning up to your behavior and its impact on your partner and the relationship. Apologize sincerely, without expectation of forgiveness or absolution. And finally, affirm your commitment to rebuilding trust and working towards a healthier, stronger relationship. This process of acknowledging, apologizing, and affirming is not a one-time event but should be ongoing as you continue to heal and rebuild trust with your partner.
Remember, rebuilding trust will not happen overnight or through grand gestures. It will take consistent effort and a willingness to listen, understand, and communicate openly with each other. With patience and love, you both can overcome this challenge and emerge stronger and more connected than before. Keep the tone compassionate and reassuring, understanding that trust takes time to rebuild but is possible with effort and commitment from both partners. By showing empathy and a focus on wellness and faith-based healing, you can create a safe space for your partner to heal from the pain of betrayal.
Recover Your Marriage From Infidelity with Couples Therapy in Atlanta
If you and your partner are struggling to recover from infidelity, know that there is hope for healing and rebuilding trust. Our couples therapist in Atlanta, GA specializes in helping couples navigate the complex emotions and challenges that come with infidelity. We provide a safe, nonjudgmental space for both partners to process their feelings and work towards a stronger, healthier relationship. At Faith and Family Empowerment, we specialize in working with couples who have experienced infidelity and are committed to rebuilding trust and reconnecting. We support you in your journey to rebuilding trust, healing from betrayal, and creating a stronger marriage. Whether in-person at our Decatur, GA-based practice or anywhere in the state of Georgia through online therapy. We are here to help you and your partner heal and grow together. When you’re ready to begin counseling these steps:
- Contact me to schedule an initial appointment
- Learn more about me and my services
- Rebuild trust and heal your marriage together with Faith and Family Empowerment!
Other Therapy Services Offered at Faith and Family Empowerment
Couples Therapy in Atlanta, GA is just one of the many services offered at Faith and Family Empowerment in Decatur, GA. I’m also trained to provide other therapies that can benefit you or your partner individually in-person and online. These include Christian counseling, and depression support groups. Other mental health services include online therapy, premarital counseling, discernment counseling, and counseling for affair recovery. Learn more by visiting my about, blog, or FAQ pages today!
About the Author 
Meet William Hemphill, an experienced therapist specializing in guiding couples through affair recovery. With over two decades of expertise, William provides personalized support and effective tools to rebuild trust, enhance communication, and rediscover joy in your relationship. As the founder of Faith and Family Empowerment, he is committed to addressing the unique needs of individuals in relationships. From resolving conflicts to nurturing a deeper connection, William’s compassionate approach will assist you in creating a fulfilling partnership.