I was listening to a broadcast where a man was in a church talking about the challenges of society. A notable mention was that women were not submitting to their husbands in the home. This person even interpreted the scriptural passage in Ephesians to men. They believed that women shouldn’t work outside of the home. Instead, they should take care of the responsibilities in the home like cooking, cleaning, etc. . And, they stated men should be the ones in the marriage out working and in charge of the money.
First, as a black marriage counselor, I disagree with this philosophy for several reasons.
In the times that the Biblical text was first written, women were then viewed as property. Not as human beings with full rights. Thus, women were not allowed access to education. They were relegated to second-class citizens. Their husbands were even chosen by their fathers in arranged marriages. As a result, they had no voice in the matter.
Second, that is not the environment we are in today in our country.
Women own businesses, have PhDs, are judges, and have all sorts of accomplishments. Thus, women have more opportunities that they did not have in biblical times. Women can make their own decisions about marriage, occupation, style of living, and so forth.
Third, we often have the idea of submission as one person ruling or domineering over another.
In a good relationship, submission is about caring for the needs and the personhood of the other. The passage cited in Ephesians 5, verse 21 talks about mutual submission. In other words, both husbands and wives are caring for the personhood and needs of the other spouse. Imagine if we had marriages where both parties respected the other as human beings and exhibited loving and caring actions toward each other. Instead of trying to rule over one another, we exhibit love and service toward each other.
The Benefits of Mutual Submissiveness
In a mutually submissive home spouses talk about who might be best for the roles and duties of marriage. But, these are regardless of what society might say. That means if the husband is a neater person, he may wash the clothes and clean the house. Or, if the wife has greater job opportunities with a larger income, she may bring home the money. The point is that mutual caring, listening, respect, and love for your spouse lead to better decisions. As decisions improve, so will your marriage. So, let’s take off the royal hats, and learn to love one another. By working together, we can all enjoy better relationships.
Begin Black Marriage Counseling in Decatur, GA
Improving communication and practicing mutual submissiveness is much easier said than done. Our Decatur, GA-based counseling practice can offer support to help you communicate your respect and love to your partner. A caring therapist from our team can meet with you and equip you with the tools to succeed. To start your counseling journey, please follow these steps:
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Complete an appointment request
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Get to know me, William, your new relationship therapist
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Start improving the relationship with your partner