Does this situation sound familiar?
You are trying to decide who will pick up the children from school. One of you tries to make a point. The other one gets frustrated and the next thing you know, both of you are yelling at one another. Or worse still, you get a cold silence that might last for hours or days.
Perhaps, you try and approach your spouse to ask what is wrong. The answer you get is “nothing”. Yet, at the same time, the room is freezing due to the disconnect between the two of you.
This pattern may have become so entrenched that you and your spouse can only talk about the business of the marriage. Who picks up the kids? Who goes to the grocery store? What time will you be home? There is no more fun in your relationship. In fact, it may be creating more anxiety at this point than anything else!
Understanding the Reactive Cycle
There is a reason that we cannot communicate with our spouses. There is a reason why there is no more fun in the relationship. That reason is that the relationship has become emotionally unsafe for the two of you. Every time you talk, you enter into an argument, or periods of silence. And nobody wants that.
At Faith and Family Empowerment, we teach couples about their reactive cycle. Your reactive cycle consists of your emotional response to statements or actions that your spouse makes during discussion. Oftentimes the statements or actions of our spouse touch our emotional wounds. In turn, this triggers a response or action from us. This response then touches an emotional wound in our spouse, who then also reacts.
This pattern continues onward until we find ourselves in the “soul-sucking vortex of doom” known as the reactive cycle. Our reactive cycle is why we find ourselves in unsafe and heated discussions. Whether the topic is parenting or toothpaste, our pain brings us into the reactive cycle and our spousal communication becomes unsafe.
Our Approach to Marriage Counseling in Decatur, GA
When we become emotionally unsafe, it limits our ability to be open and vulnerable with each other. That lack of vulnerability reduces intimacy and connection in our relationship. Thus, marriage relationships, which were designed for connection, intimacy, fun, and partnership become business agreements instead. We conduct the business of the home because it MIGHT be the only safe discussion we can have. This lack of communication can also result in the need for other services such as discernment counseling.
At Faith and Family Empowerment, we can help you identify, learn about, and manage your reactive cycle so you can begin to draw closer to your spouse through marriage counseling. When we are able to identify and understand our emotional wounds, we can learn to care for our wounds and manage our reactions toward each other. This creates an emotionally safe environment where we can begin to communicate, reconnect, and rebuild intimacy in our relationship.
Begin Marriage Counseling in Decatur, GA
We can’t expect to perfect communication at all times. We are only human, so we are bound to make mistakes as a result. But, your relationship doesn’t have to suffer as a result. I would be happy to provide the support you deserve to repair your bond so you can effectively communicate. I offer support from my Decatur, GA-based counseling practice. To start your counseling journey, please follow these simple steps:
- Fill out an appointment request.
- Get to know your caring therapist.
- Start improving your relationship!
Other Services Offered at Faith and Family Empowerment
I personally understand how much happens in life. As a result, I understand the variety of services you may benefit from. I offer support from my Decatur, GA-based counseling practice and via online therapy in Georgia. Services I offer include Christian counseling, depression support groups, anxiety support groups, and marriage counseling. I also offer premarital counseling, discernment counseling, and counseling for affair recovery. Learn more by visiting my about, blog, or FAQ pages today!