Couples oftentimes have periods of reflection where they realize that they need to make some changes. These changes are needed to restore the spark they once had or increase it and their connection. After time passes and the relationship isn’t new anymore, it can be difficult to be mindful of the work that needs to be put in to keep it fresh.
This is why marriage counseling can be such a positive step for couples who are looking to reignite their relationship. After putting your kids first or tackling different everyday life stressors, it can be hard to remember the importance of cherishing your spouse in a meaningful way. Marriage counseling offers couples a positive way to focus on each other and create habits that will help them stay connected.
As a therapist, I provide marriage counseling in Atlanta and Decatur, GA, so in this blog post, I’d like to discuss some great habits that couples can implement in their relationship.
Check In With Eachother Every Day
Making time to talk to your spouse to check in and make sure that you both are on the same page is one of the most important steps you can take to show your spouse that you care. It will not only help to make sure both of your needs are being met, but it will help to build trust, strengthen your relationship, and keep the fire alive.
For instance, you and your spouse can aim to have 6 “magic hours” of quality time together each week. Gottman suggests that this is the amount of quality time couples need to talk alone and uninterrupted. This could be during dinner time or on a date night, but it is important that you make time for each other.
In marriage counseling, I enjoy introducing them to Gottman’s 6 magic hours concept. It takes the idea of quality time and creates an achievable goal. That you don’t have to spend a whole week focused on each other, but that 6 hours of uninterrupted quality time is enough to make a difference.
Make Sure Your Goals are Realistic
Couples will often come to marriage counseling and make big goals for themselves and their relationship then wonder why they are not achieving them. Setting goals is a great way to track progress and strive for something. But it is important to make sure they are realistic. For example, if you and your spouse have a goal of traveling more, start by taking a few weekend trips near your hometown. This will help you to stay within a budget and build the foundation for future trips that can be bigger and longer.
Also, breaking down bigger goals into smaller goals can be helpful and make it easier to reach the end goal. If you and your spouse are not used to setting goals for yourselves and your relationship, this can be an easy way to transition without it becoming overwhelming. Celebrating your successes will also help to build momentum and excitement.
Show Your Spouse Some Affection
Showing affection is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, a marriage, or any intimate connection. Whether it’s through hugs, kisses, or holding hands, you need to make sure that your spouse feels appreciated and loved. Remember, everyone has different love languages. My clients often find it helpful to think about how their partner likes to receive and give affection when planning dates or making time for each other.
Asking your spouse what their love language is can be a huge help in understanding how they feel most loved and connected. Plus, it’s a great way to show your spouse that you are truly listening to them and striving to meet their needs. If you or your spouse don’t know their love language, you can take the love language quiz by Dr. Gary Chapman for a better understanding of each other’s needs.
Go on Dates Once a Month
In my marriage counseling sessions, I recommend my clients to make time for their relationships. As this is one sure way to keep the fire alive. Going on dates, even if it’s only once a month can be a great way to reconnect and focus on each other. This can be a time when you practice your 6 Magic Hours together and can give you a chance to leave the stress of everyday life behind. Whether it’s dinner and a movie or going for a walk in the park, it’s important to put aside some time for just the two of you to spend quality time together.
Schedule Some Vacation Time
This, unlike your once-a-month dates, can be over the course of the year. Going on vacation with your spouse so that you both can get away and have some alone time. This means you aren’t bringing your kids along even though you love them. It also means no bringing any other couples who you can end up socializing with. JUST the two of you!
This is intentional. Couples I see in marriage counseling always say they go on vacation but that it’s rarely alone time. This is a great way to make sure you get the quality time that you need. It can also be a great way for both of you to just focus on each other. But it can also be about doing things that you both love, and making memories together. It can also be a great time to practice setting goals for yourselves and your relationship as well.
When it comes to spending quality time with your spouse, it’s important to remember that marriage counseling can be a great resource. Talking with a marriage counselor can be a great way to ensure that you are both getting the support and guidance you need. It can be the positive step that your relationship needs to help create a stronger connection between you both.
Interested in Marriage Counseling in Decatur or Atlanta, GA?
Taking a positive step towards strengthening your relationship can make sure you both are fostering the spark you have. You can rediscover what brought you together, learn to communicate better, better understand one another’s boundaries and fan the flame that might feel like it’s burning a little smaller these days. Marriage counseling can be that positive step that you need and can make sure that you both are on the same page. At Faith and Family Empowerment, we are able to provide you with quality services through online therapy or in person at our Decatur counseling practice. When you’re ready to begin marriage counseling, in Decatur or Atlanta, GA, follow these steps:
- Contact me to schedule an initial appointment
- Learn more about me and my services
- Begin taking a step in a positive direction for you and your relationship!
Other Services Offered at Faith and Family Empowerment
Marriage Counseling isn’t the only service offered at my Decatur, GA-based therapy practice. I’m happy to offer a variety of in-person and online mental health services. These include Christian counseling, and depression support groups. Other mental health services include premarital counseling, discernment counseling, and counseling for affair recovery. Learn more by visiting my about, blog, or FAQ pages today!