The holidays are approaching, and with them comes introducing your partner to your family. Family gatherings seem to be the easiest place to introduce your partner to your loved ones, but what happens if your family doesn’t approve of your significant other? First, I need to note that if you’re my daughter and you’re reading this, this doesn’t apply to you! Get rid of him! I’m just kidding! But in all seriousness, when your family doesn’t approve of your partner, it can create a lot of stress and tension. You want the people you love most to love each other but what if that’s just not possible? It’s important to manage your expectations and understand that not everyone will get along. As a marriage counselor in Atlanta, GA I’ve seen relationships get torn apart because of family disapproval. I’ve also seen family relationships become strained because of a partner’s behavior. It’s not an easy situation to navigate, but here are some tips on how to manage your expectations if your family doesn’t approve of your partner.
Why Don’t They Approve? 
When the rejection of your partner happens or you’ve been reminded of your family’s disapproval, it can be hard to take a minute to reflect on why they don’t approve. You’re mad, hurt and feeling defensive. But take a deep breath and when you have a minute away from everyone, reflect on why. Why don’t they like your partner? Is it something specific or a general feeling? Does your partner treat you the way you deserve? Understanding their reasons can help you have a more productive conversation with your family and also give you clarity on the situation.
For instance, your parents could be worried about your partner’s financial stability or think they have different values than you. Or maybe they just don’t like the way your partner talks to them. It’s important to know why so you can address those concerns and work towards finding a resolution. If nothing comes up when you’re reflecting, ask your family why they don’t like your partner. It may be a hard conversation to have, but it’s important for everyone to understand each other’s perspectives.
Does it Matter to You?
Now, on some level, it probably does matter to you. You care about your family’s opinions and want them to approve of your partner. But ask yourself, does their approval actually matter in the grand scheme of things? Are you happy with your partner and do they treat you well? If you’re happy in the relationship, then their approval shouldn’t affect that. Of course, you want your family to be happy for you and support your decisions but ultimately it’s your relationship and your happiness that should come first.
However, if they have valid concerns or issues with your partner’s behavior, it’s important to address them and see if they can be resolved. Remember, your family might see things that you don’t. They aren’t wearing the rose-colored glasses that you may be wearing in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. Consider their opinions and see if there are areas where your partner can improve to gain their approval. Or, if it’s a relationship issue, look into premarital or marriage counseling in Atlanta, GA to work through any issues with a neutral third party.
Take a Look at Your Family 
Now, not every family has the most healthy dynamic. It could be that your family has a history of disapproving of partners and causing issues in relationships. Or, you know your family doesn’t exactly have healthy relationships and you want to break that cycle. If this is the case, you need to take a step back and assess whether their opinions are valid or just a pattern in your family dynamic. Are they consistently finding fault with your partners? Do they have unrealistic expectations for who you should be dating? Are they just mad that you’re not following the toxic patterns they displayed in their own relationships? In these cases, it’s important to set boundaries with your family and remind yourself that ultimately it’s your life and your relationship.
As a marriage counselor, I want to remind you that YOUR happiness is at stake, not your family’s. So if you’re happy in your relationship, it’s important to continue standing up for yourself and setting boundaries with your family when needed. This can look like, “Mom, I know you don’t approve of my partner, but I love them and I need you to respect that.” Or saying “Guys, I love you but we are not discussing my relationship anymore. I’m happy with my partner and that’s all that matters.” It can be hard to stand up to your family, but remember that you have the right to choose who you love and spend your life with.
Think of Your Long-Term Goals
If your values don’t align with your parents’ or their reasons are more serious, it’s important to think about your long-term goals and where your relationship is headed. You need to better understand why you are with this person. Is it because your parents don’t approve? Maybe it’s because you’re afraid to end up alone? Or, is it because they make you feel loved and supported? Think: will they be okay taking care of you or changing your diaper when you’re 80? You need to reflect on why you’re in the relationship and if it aligns with your long-term goals. Because, if you see a future with your partner, you might have to ask yourself if their approval is necessary for the success of your relationship.
Will you be okay with them not attending holidays or other family events? How will this impact your relationship in the long run? Or, do you not see yourself with this person in the future? However, what if you don’t see a future with your partner? In my experience as a marriage counselor, I’ve seen relationships struggle because one partner is trying to please their family while the other feels unsupported and not valued. It’s important to have open and honest communication with your partner about these feelings and come up with a plan together. This could involve couples or marriage counseling in Atlanta, GA or even ending the relationship if it’s not healthy for either of you.
How Do They Feel About Your Family?
I’ve talked about how you feel, and your parents feel. But how does your partner feel about your family’s disapproval? Are they understanding and supportive of your situation? Do they try to improve their relationship with your family? Or do they resent your family for not accepting them? This matters because if they don’t want to be around your family, are you able to manage your family with your partner and then your family of origin? It’s important to have these conversations and see if your partner is willing to work on their relationship with your family, or if they are unable to handle the conflict.
But also, you need to talk to them about how important your family is to you. If you and your partner end up getting married, they are essentially marrying your family, too. There isn’t a way you won’t do anything with your family unless they have been cut off. But, if that was the case, you wouldn’t be reading this blog. Working with your partner to figure out boundaries that can be set, along with how to communicate your expectations to your family, is what can be done in marriage counseling in Atlanta, GA. Family dynamics are complex and it’s important to have a safe space to discuss them with a professional, such as a marriage counselor.
Grandchildren and Family Gatherings
Something else to consider is how your family’s disapproval may impact future milestones in your relationship, such as having children. Once again, unless you cut your family off completely, they are going to want to be a part of your life. This could include family gatherings and events, or even wanting to see their grandchildren. Will your family’s disapproval cause tension and stress in these situations? Are you willing to miss out on important moments with your partner and children because of your family’s opinion? Or, will you be okay with not spending time with your family because your partner is not welcome?
These are important questions to think about and discuss with your partner, as well as a marriage counselor in Atlanta, GA if needed. One way to help navigate this potential conflict is by setting clear boundaries with your family. This can look like stating, “If you are rude to my partner, then we will leave the event.” Or, “Our family will not be attending any events where my partner is not welcome.” This shows your family that you are committed to standing up for your partner and their place in your life. And it also allows your partner to feel supported and valued by you. You can also find ways to include your family in your life without compromising your relationship with your partner. This can involve separate events or finding a compromise that works for both parties.
At the end of the day, remember that your happiness and well-being should be your top priority. It’s important to stand up for yourself and your relationship, while also maintaining open communication with your partner and family. If needed, seek support from a marriage counselor in Atlanta, GA who can help navigate these challenging family dynamics and create a plan that works for everyone involved. Most importantly, trust yourself and your decisions, as only you know what is best for you and your future. So take a deep breath, keep an open mind, and remember that love knows no bounds – not even familial disapproval.
Manage Your Expectations with a Marriage Counselor in Atlanta, GA
Managing your expectations is an important aspect of any relationship, especially when dealing with family disapproval. It’s natural to want our loved ones to accept and support our choices, but sometimes that may not happen. A marriage counselor in Atlanta, GA can help you navigate this situation by helping you set realistic expectations and boundaries with your family. They can also provide guidance on how to communicate effectively with your partner and family while keeping your own well-being in mind. At Faith and Family Empowerment, our founder, William Hemphill, is dedicated to helping couples strengthen their relationships and navigate difficult family dynamics. He offers online therapy in Atlanta, GA, recognizing that busy schedules and different locations can make it difficult for couples to attend in-person sessions. Our practice in Decatur, GA, is a place where couples can feel safe, understood, and empowered to create the relationship they desire. When you’re ready to take the next step, here’s how to get started:
- Contact me to schedule your initial appointment.
- Learn more about my services and approach.
- Take the first step towards building the life and love you deserve!
Other Therapy Services Offered at Faith and Family Empowerment
Addressing relationships through couples therapy or marriage counseling in Atlanta, GA, is just one of the many services offered at Faith and Family Empowerment in Decatur, GA. I’m pleased to provide a variety of in-person and online mental health services. These include premarital counseling anddiscernment counseling. Other mental health services include: Online Therapy, Christian Counseling, Depression Support Groups, and Counseling for Affair Recovery. Learn more by visiting my about, blog, or FAQ pages today!
About the Author 
William Hemphill is a seasoned therapist in Decatur, GA, with over twenty years of experience. He specializes in helping couples navigate the complexities of relationships, especially when dealing with challenges involving family dynamics. If you’re struggling with one partner’s family not accepting the other, William offers personalized support to address these issues. He provides effective strategies to help couples strengthen their bond and manage family-related tensions. As the visionary behind Faith and Family Empowerment, William understands the intricacies of modern relationships and is committed to helping you build stronger connections despite external pressures. His empathetic approach and expertise are just what you need to enhance your relationship. He’s also available for speaking engagements on family and relationship topics. Reach out for more details and discover how you can improve your relationship journey. Contact William today!