When you undergo the transformation of becoming a grandparent, your relationship not only changes with your child but also with your grandchild. As a grandparent, you may find yourself in new roles that require navigating relationships with both your adult children and grandchildren. But, let me be honest, it’s hard. You want to continuously help your child, but they’re grown. Which they constantly remind you of, but you also want to create a strong bond with your grandchild.
Of course, that’s when you hear phrases like “Where was that McDonald’s money when I was a kid?” or “You never did that for me!” You may even feel like you’re walking on eggshells to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings. The changing of roles can be beautiful, but it also comes with its own set of challenges. Even though I specialize in marriage counseling in Atlanta, GA, this doesn’t mean I don’t know how to navigate these types of family relationships. So, let’s talk about the changing roles of grandparents and how you can navigate them with grace and understanding.
Understanding the Shift in Dynamics 
You’ve become a grandparent, while a fun and beautiful transformation, it can be difficult. Before this change in roles, you were just a parent. You’ve spent years raising, consoling, scolding, and loving your child. However, there’s a point where your child no longer needs you in that role. They’re grown and make their own decisions, whether you like it or not. But, where does that leave you? You want to still give them advice, guide them, and help them see right from wrong. But now, it’s up to them to make their own choices.
Your role has now become more of a guide, advisor, or consultant. Meaning, they have to come to you before you can offer your opinion or advice. It’s a shift in dynamics that can be hard to navigate, especially if you’re used to being the one who makes all the decisions for your child. Because what do you think will happen if you give your advice unsolicited? We both know the answer to that question. It is an unwelcome form of advice and I’m sure that you didn’t appreciate it when you were in their shoes.
What Does This Look Like?
You might be thinking, “What does this even look like for me?” Well, let me tell you. You have to know when it’s time to step back and allow your child to make their own decisions. This also means that you can’t be mad if they don’t take your advice or choose a different path than the one you suggested. You have spent all these years raising them, teaching them, and now it’s time to let them spread their wings and make their own choices. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t offer your wisdom and guidance when asked.
Instead of being like, “If I were you I wouldn’t have made that choice.” Try saying, “I understand why you chose that path, but if you ever need my advice or guidance, I am here for you.” This shows that you respect their decisions while still offering your support and knowledge. And who knows, they may come back to you for more advice in the future. But if you force it on them? They might shut you out completely.
The Role of the Grandparent
When you think of being a grandparent, it might be baking cookies with your grandchild, taking them to the park, or spoiling them with gifts. And while those are all fun things to do, your role as a grandparent goes beyond that. You have the opportunity to be a source of love, support, and guidance for your grandchildren. Also, you can also be a bridge between generations, passing down family traditions and values. The grandparent is supposed to play a supportive role to their children and also the grandchildren. And when you’re able to navigate these relationships with grace and understanding, it can create a strong bond among the family.
However, when grandchildren enter the picture, that’s when the shift in dynamics is even more pronounced. You are no longer the parent figure but instead, a grandparent who has a different level of authority and influence. This doesn’t mean your grandchildren don’t have to listen to you, but it means you don’t make the final decisions for them. It’s a delicate balance. You want to have a close and loving relationship with your grandchild, but you also don’t want to overstep boundaries with your adult child. So, how do you navigate this new role as a grandparent?
Creating Boundaries 
Now, when I say creating boundaries, I don’t just mean for you. This means you need to honor the boundaries your adult child places with you. Just like you have your own boundaries, they have their own too! They may not always match up with what you think is best, but it’s important to respect them. Your adult child has the right to make their own decisions regarding their family and children. For example, if your child asks you not to let their child have cookies for breakfast, it’s important to respect that and not go against their wishes.
But, why do boundaries even matter? Boundaries are a way to respect each other’s space and decisions. It also helps to create a healthy relationship where both parties feel heard and respected. And as a grandparent, it’s important to set boundaries for yourself as well. This could mean setting limits on how often you visit or offer help, as not to overstep your role. Yet, this doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your grandchildren and have a relationship with them. You’ve probably heard the phrase “you can spoil them and then give them back to their parents.” And honestly, it’s true! You can play all day with that child, give them all the cookies they want, and then hand them back to your adult child at the end of the day. Just remember to honor their boundaries and respect your role as a grandparent.
You Might Not Always Agree
Everyone parents differently. This can even include people who come from the same nuclear family. So, it might not surprise you when I say that you probably won’t agree with every parenting decision your child makes. But guess what? That’s okay! Think of it this way: you’ve had your turn to raise your child and make decisions for them. Now, it’s their turn. And just like you learned from your own experiences, they will learn from theirs. Also, just because it’s different doesn’t mean your way was wrong, and neither is theirs! Like anything, we learn more about parenting as time goes on and our views may change. So, instead of focusing on what you don’t agree with, focus on the love and support you can offer your child as they navigate their own journey as a parent.
But what about when their decision affects your grandchild? Maybe they allow more screen time than you think is appropriate or they don’t enforce a strict bedtime routine. While it may be tempting to step in and offer your opinion, remember that this is their child, not yours. If you have concerns, try having an open and respectful conversation with your adult child. Share your thoughts and concerns in a supportive manner and let them make the final decision for their family. Facilitating a nice, open conversation from a place of curiosity rather than judgment can help you better understand their perspective and build a stronger relationship with them. Or, if you need help, an online therapist in Georgia might help you navigate these conversations and relationships.
Is it That Serious?
Of course no one likes it when they feel like a bad parent or feel as if they could help someone but they don’t want it. But when it comes to your role as a grandparent, it’s important to pick your battles. Sometimes, the things you might disagree with aren’t worth causing tension in the relationship with your adult child or affecting their parenting style. So ask yourself, is this really worth getting upset over? If not, let it go and focus on the positive aspects of being a grandparent.
The most important part is seeing your grandchild, having a relationship with them, and being a part of their lives. It’s not about being right but rather about being there for them, showing your love and support, and creating memories that will last a lifetime. And when you focus on that, everything else seems to fall into place. Now, that doesn’t mean you don’t get to have boundaries though. Peek back up at that boundaries section! You’re allowed to have your own limits and stick to them. For example, you get to hold boundaries for how those children act in your home. You have knickknacks that you love and don’t want broken, so it’s okay to set expectations for how your grandchildren should behave in your home. This also helps teach them important lessons about respecting others’ belongings and boundaries.
How to Prepare for this Shift in the Future 
Maybe you’re not a grandparent yet but you’re anxiously anticipating this shift in the future. First of all, I want to congratulate you for being proactive. Second, it’s never too early to start learning how to navigate this new role and new state of the relationship! My recommendation as an online therapist in Georgia is start practicing open communication with your child now. It may feel uncomfortable to have conversations about boundaries and differing opinions. But when grandchildren enter the picture, it makes those conversations harder to have. You’ve waited until this point to establish your role in your child’s life, and now a new person is coming into the family. So don’t wait until it feels “urgent” to start talking about boundaries and expectations. Start practicing open communication now so when the time comes, you’re already comfortable discussing these important topics with your adult child.
Therapy is also a great way to prepare for this shift. Online therapy can help you navigate the complexities of family dynamics and provide you with tools to strengthen your relationships with your adult child and future grandchildren. Plus, if your child and grandchildren are further away, online therapy can help you stay connected and involved in their lives. You can navigate this shift with confidence and create a fulfilling and loving relationship with your grandchild by being proactive and seeking support when needed. Remember, being a grandparent is an important role filled with love and joy, so embrace it and enjoy the journey!
Navigate the Changing Roles of Grandparents with an Online Therapist in Georgia
Becoming a grandparent brings a beautiful transformation, but it can also come with challenges, especially as your relationships with your adult children and grandchildren evolve. As you step into the role of a grandparent, you may find yourself navigating a delicate balance between supporting your adult children and fostering a meaningful bond with your grandchildren. An online therapist with online therapy in Atlanta, GA can provide you with the support and guidance you need to navigate this new phase of your life. At Faith and Family Empowerment, our founder, William Hemphill, is dedicated to helping individuals and families strengthen their relationships and find balance in life. Through online therapy, William can help you communicate effectively with your adult child, set healthy boundaries, and create a fulfilling relationship with your grandchild. Our practice in Decatur, GA, is a place where you can feel seen, heard, and supported as you navigate this exciting new chapter in your life. When you’re ready to take the next step, here’s how to get started:
- Contact me to schedule your initial appointment.
- Learn more about my services and approach.
- Embrace this new role with confidence and support!
Other Therapy Services Offered at Faith and Family Empowerment
Transitioning into new roles may also bring up other challenges or concerns in your life. At Faith and Family Empowerment, we offer a variety of therapy services to support you through any situation you may be facing. At Faith and Family Empowerment in Decatur, GA, I’m pleased to provide a variety of in-person and online mental health services. These include premarital counseling and discernment counseling. Other mental health services include: Online Therapy, Christian Counseling, Depression Support Groups, and Counseling for Affair Recovery. Learn more by visiting my about, blog, or FAQ pages today!
About the Author 
William Hemphill is a seasoned therapist in Decatur, GA, with over twenty years of experience. He specializes in helping families navigate life’s transitions, including the shift from being parents to becoming grandparents. If you’re struggling with your changing role and how it’s affecting your relationship with your adult child, William offers compassionate, personalized support to guide you through this new phase. He provides effective strategies to help you strengthen family bonds, manage evolving dynamics, and build healthy connections with both your adult child and their growing family. As the founder of Faith and Family Empowerment, William deeply understands the challenges this transition can bring and is committed to helping you find balance and harmony. His empathetic approach and expertise are here to support you every step of the way. He’s also available for speaking engagements on family transitions and relationships. Reach out today to learn how William can help you navigate this journey with confidence and ease!