When you’re looking for a marriage counselor in Atlanta, GA, it’s important to know what questions to ask. This is all in order to find the right fit for you and your partner. It can be difficult to think of questions in the moment. So it’s helpful to have a list prepared before your initial consultation. It’s almost as if your brain goes blank when you enter the therapist’s office, but don’t worry – that’s completely normal. Here are some questions to consider asking during your search for a marriage counselor:
What is Your Process? 
When you’re looking into marriage counseling in Atlanta, GA, it can be hard to keep straight what different therapists are offering. One question to ask is, “What is your process?”. This could include how many sessions you typically have, the types of therapy methods you use, and how long each session lasts. Knowing this information can help you understand if the counselor’s approach aligns with what you’re looking for.
For instance, some marriage counselors use the Gottman Method, which focuses on building healthy communication and conflict-resolution skills. Others may use Emotionally Focused Therapy. This helps couples identify and address deep emotional patterns that are causing distress in the relationship. Knowing the therapist’s process can give you a better idea of what to expect from your sessions. It can also help you figure out which therapist might be the best fit for you and your partner.
Another Question to ask is “How Do You Do This?”
When they’ve told you their process, it’s okay to ask them to expand on that process. “Can you walk me through an example of how you’ve used this method with a couple before?”. Or “What do you think makes this approach effective for marriage counseling?”. This can help you get a deeper understanding of their techniques and how they might apply to your specific situation. For example, if you and your partner are struggling with communication in conflict. Or, if you need date ideas to connect better with your partner.
It’s important to feel comfortable with the techniques your therapist will be using and believe in their effectiveness. You want to know that the methods they use align with your values and goals for therapy. This will help you feel more confident in their ability to guide you and your partner towards a healthier relationship.
What is Your Why?
Another important question to ask a potential marriage counselor is, “What motivated you to become a marriage counselor?”. This not only gives you insight into the therapist’s background and experience. But it can also help you understand their approach and values. A therapist who is passionate about helping couples may have a different perspective and level of empathy. This is compared to someone who became a therapist for other reasons.
Asking this question can also help you determine if the therapist has any personal biases or prejudices. Ones that could potentially affect your therapy sessions. Hopefully, this doesn’t happen. But if your marriage counselor says they became a therapist because they wanted to “fix” relationships or have a strong belief in traditional gender roles? That might be a red flag for you and your partner.
How Long Have You Been Doing This?
This question can be a good question to ask to see how seasoned your therapist is. However, not all long-practicing counselors are better than newer ones. Sometimes, a fresh perspective can bring new insights that can help couples heal and grow in their relationship. On the other hand, a long-practicing therapist may have seen many different types of situations and know how to handle difficult situations effectively. It’s up to you and your partner’s preference on which type of therapist you feel most comfortable with.
Can You Hear and Understand Both of Us Clearly? 
When you go into marriage counseling, the therapist isn’t just listening to one person. They are listening to both of you and trying to understand each partner’s perspective. So, if your therapist cannot understand both of you clearly, it can hinder the progress of your therapy sessions. For instance, they need to be getting both partner’s perspectives and feelings to provide the best guidance and support. Don’t be afraid to ask the counselor if they can hear both of you clearly or if any communication barriers may affect your sessions.
This can look like any of the following:
- Speaking too quietly
- Interrupting each other
- One person dominating the conversation while the other stays quiet.
If you don’t feel like your therapist is able to understand both partners equally, it’s important to speak up and address this concern. Asking this question can also give the therapist a heads up to be more mindful of communication dynamics and help them facilitate healthier conversations between you and your partner.
What Will You Not Help With?
When starting marriage counseling, it’s crucial to understand the goal isn’t to assign blame or declare one person ‘right’ and the other ‘wrong’. An effective counselor won’t take sides or act as a judge. Asking, “Can you make sure my spouse knows it’s their fault?” or “Can you tell them why I’m right?” won’t help. Instead, a good therapist will facilitate understanding each other’s feelings and perspectives. The focus is on fostering mutual understanding and collaboration, not reinforcing conflict.
A skilled counselor will help you both recognize your roles in the issues and work towards a healthier relationship dynamic. Knowing what the therapist won’t do can also help you set realistic expectations for your therapy sessions and ensure that you’re both on the same page about the purpose of counseling. Also, asking your counselor “How long should you try counseling before you call it quits?” may seem like a good question, but it’s not. Every couple is different, and there’s no set timeline for how long therapy will take. It also shows that you’re already thinking about quitting, which can hinder the progress of your therapy.
How Would You Say This? Can You Give Examples?
In any relationship, understanding that effective communication involves more than just words. It’s about how you convey your feelings and how you listen to your partner’s perspective. One powerful tool in this process is the use of “I statements.” Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” you could say, “I feel unheard when I’m trying to express my thoughts.” This shifts the focus from blaming your partner to expressing your own emotions, which can reduce defensiveness and foster a more open dialogue. However, using “I statements” effectively requires more than just knowing the format. You also need to be in the right emotional state to use them appropriately. If you’re triggered or highly emotional, it’s hard to communicate effectively and these statements can come off as insincere or manipulative.
In such instances, it’s better to take a moment to calm down before attempting to discuss the issue. But what if you don’t know how to say what you’re feeling in a healthy way? This is where your therapist can help. Asking for examples and guidance on using “I statements” can be incredibly helpful in improving your communication skills as a couple. A good therapist will not only explain the concept but also provide practical examples and role-playing exercises to help you both practice using this technique effectively. With time, using “I statements” will become more natural and less intimidating, leading to healthier and more productive conversations with your partner.
Equally Important is Learning How to Truly Listen to Your Partner.
There’s a significant difference between listening to understand and listening to reply. When you listen just to reply, you’re often formulating your response while your partner is still speaking, which means you’re missing their full message. Genuine listening involves being fully present, acknowledging their feelings, and validating their perspective, even if you don’t agree with it. This kind of empathetic listening can help build trust and deepen your emotional connection. Your counselor can tell you in the consultative process how they can help you to achieve that level of listening with your partner. They may suggest exercises like mirror talk or active listening techniques to help you practice and improve your listening skills. Or, maybe even setting healthy boundaries that look like “I need to take a minute from this conversation to calm down”.
For example, they may tell you instead of saying, “I think you’re overreacting,” try, “I see that this situation is very upsetting for you. Can you tell me more about what you’re feeling?” This approach shows that you’re genuinely interested in understanding your partner’s emotions, rather than dismissing their feelings. By mastering the use of “I statements” and learning to listen with empathy, you can create a more compassionate and understanding environment in your relationship. This, in turn, can lead to more effective conflict resolution and a stronger, healthier connection with your partner. This is information your therapist can help you both understand and practice in your counseling sessions.
What Assessments or Worksheets Do You Offer to Help? 
At first, this can seem like a strange question to ask, but assessments and worksheets can be powerful tools in marriage counseling. These resources can help you both gain insight into your relationship patterns, communication styles, and individual thought processes. They can also provide a structured way to address specific issues or facilitate important conversations that may be difficult to have on your own.
Your therapist may offer various assessments or worksheets based on their experience and training. Including Gottman Relationship Checkup or the Enneagram personality test. These can provide valuable information for your therapy sessions and serve as a starting point for deeper discussions with your partner. However, asking is smart because some therapists will charge you for the use of these resources, so it’s essential to know what to expect beforehand. Additionally, your therapist may also create customized worksheets or activities based on your specific needs and goals as a couple.
How Much Work Will This Be?
If you aren’t ready to put in the work, counseling may not be beneficial for you. The process involves more than just showing up for sessions; it requires an active commitment to self-improvement and relationship growth. Your therapist will encourage both of you to take responsibility for your actions and contributions to the current situation. Personal responsibility is crucial in understanding how each person impacts the relationship and how you can work together towards a healthier dynamic.
This means that if you can’t complete the necessary paperwork, consistently show up for your sessions, or engage genuinely in the process, the likelihood of seeing positive outcomes diminishes significantly. Part of the therapeutic journey is holding yourselves accountable, being open to change, and dedicating time and effort to foster a stronger connection. But keep in mind, marriage counseling costs less than divorce.
Figuring out what questions to ask a potential marriage counselor in Atlanta, GA, can be overwhelming. However, remember that the most essential factor in marriage counseling is finding a therapist who is the right fit for you and your partner. Ask these questions to get a better understanding of their therapeutic approach and how they can support you in achieving your relationship goals. With open communication and commitment to the process, marriage counseling can be a valuable tool in strengthening your bond with your partner. Keep an open mind, be willing to work on yourself and your relationship, and trust in the expertise of your therapist to guide you toward a happier and healthier partnership.
Ask Your Marriage Counselor in Atlanta, GA
Don’t be afraid to ask your marriage counselor any questions that come to mind during your search. Remember, they are there to help and support you in improving your relationship, so it’s essential to feel comfortable and confident in their abilities. Ultimately, the most critical factor is finding a therapist who is the right fit for you and your partner. Keep an open mind, be honest about your needs and goals, and trust in the process of therapy.
With time and effort, you can build a stronger connection with your partner and create a healthier, happier relationship together. At Faith and Family Empowerment, our founder is a marriage counselor in Atlanta, GA, who is dedicated to helping couples build stronger and more fulfilling relationships. We also offer online therapy in Atlanta, GA, and surrounding areas. Our Decatur, GA-based practice offers a compassionate and safe space for couples to explore their concerns and work towards a happier, healthier relationship. When you’re ready to begin counseling these steps:
- Contact me to schedule an initial appointment
- Learn more about me and my services
- Ask the important questions and find the right therapist for you and your partner!
Other Therapy Services Offered at Faith and Family Empowerment
Marriage Counseling in Atlanta, GA is just one of the many therapy services offered at Faith and Family Empowerment in Decatur, GA. I’m happy to offer a variety of in-person and online mental health services. These include Christian counseling, and depression support groups. Other mental health services include online therapy, premarital counseling, discernment counseling, and counseling for affair recovery. Learn more by visiting my about, blog, or FAQ pages today!
About the Author 
Meet William Hemphill, a seasoned therapist with over twenty years of experience, specializing in marriage counseling for couples. Curious about how to find the right marriage counselor and what questions to ask? William offers personalized advice and effective strategies to help you foster joy, embed deep values, and build a robust foundation in your relationship. As the visionary behind Faith and Family Empowerment, he enhances the unique dynamics of each partnership. Whether you aim to deepen trust, boost self-esteem, or nurture a closer bond, William’s empathetic approach and seasoned insight will prepare you for a fulfilling future together. Searching for expert marriage counseling in Atlanta, GA? Your guide is here. Contact William today.